Holding on...

I'm still holding on.

At times, it seemed like everything is just going so wrong. I'm beginning to wonder how much longer I can take this. It is stated in the Bible that we should "consider it pure joy in the face of trials". And that trials are here to make us stronger.

But it hurts so much.

Every morning I woke up and the reality of it all come crashing down again. I have failed. Terribly. Sometimes I wonder if I had gotten myself into this. I wanted so badly for something good to come out of this. I thought I will be able to get over this, but the disappointment still lingers on. The pain is still there no matter how hard I try to put this whole affair behind me.

Will I never forget?

I don't know what to do anymore. Seemed like I can't do anything right. I really hope God will tell me the answer soon. I'm really not very strong. I'm just hanging on to the faith and the belief that God does know better. Even though I can't seemed to understand why all these has to happen and why God is so silent, I will carry on living in hope that one day, all things will be made clear and He'll come and take away the pain.

I'm still waiting...