Where there is a need...He will provide...

It's Saturday again. Somehow, a part of me wishes that the weekend never ends. But I guess everything has to come to an end eventually. I thought the week before was hectic, and that things will be alright once the system is up and running. I thought wrong. This week has been anything but that. Almost everyone seemed tense and impatient and all of a sudden, people started getting on each other's nerves. It was beginning to get difficult to keep our cool when the pressure was on us.

At times, I wonder why it is that God has to put us through all these. Yet I believed He has a reason for everything. Just as what one of my colleagues said a few days ago, through this system change, we could see the other side of our fellow colleagues.

Through it all, I still thanked God for small mercies. After all, there is nothing too big or difficult for Him to handle. And where there is a need, he will provide.

New beginnings?

Have been staying back late at work for the past one week, to the extent of working til 12mn last Thursday. What a great start to the new year.

It has only been one week and I'm already starting to feel burnt out. Also realised some things that I would rather not know. Why do people always say things that they do not mean? Or am I being rather naive here for always taking things at face value? I am tired of second guessing the intentions of others. I just don't want to care anymore. Perhaps Renee was right after all, I always turn the other cheek, and ended up getting hurt over and over again. Am I too quick to forgive and forget? Should I just learn to protect myself so that I won't get hurt so easily?

One of my colleagues said last week that if going to heaven means praising God all the time, he would rather not go to heaven. That makes me kinda sad because this was coming from a person who has (or had) been a christian all his life. To me, heaven isn't only about paradise, it is also about being with God. And there is nothing else I would want more. Because I know that only He could love me for who I am inside. And His love never fails...

2007...

Today is the last day of 2007. With each passing year, I’ve grown older. Though not necessarily wiser. How has 2007 been to me? I guess it will be difficult to sum it all up in a few words. Looking back, there were events that have changed my life, but they are too personal for me to blog here. In retrospect, I wished there were some things that I could have done better and some that I wished I had not done. Yet it’s too late for regrets now.

Where my job is concerned, I am still working in the same company as last year. Actually I did not expect to stay for so long. Neither did my Head expect that of me I supposed. But as I was telling some of my friends, I hate to leave without really achieving anything. Perhaps also, deep inside, I am somehow convicted that God has put me here for a reason. I think I have blogged before that I am thankful for the encouraging and supportive colleagues around me, and for some good friends that I’ve made as well. Yet I could also see that some things have changed. Relationships do not remain status quo all the time. It was sad too to see years of friendship break down because of something that might not even be true in the first place. Was the bond that fragile to begin with? I still don’t and perhaps never will understand why it is that some people chose to behave the way they do, and ended up hurting the people who had cared about them. Although office politics was not very apparent here, it still exists nonetheless.

I pray that 2008 will be a year of healing and restoration of relationships…


For my family, I believed most of my close friends would have known about my grandmother’s situation. The last few months have been quite a trying period for us, especially for my aunt and her family.

I pray that 2008 will be a year of renewed faith for my family…


At the beginning of 2007, I had also decided to stop attending the LG that I have been attending for the past 3 years. I am currently attending my friend’s CG from another church. I remembered telling my CG mentor a few weeks ago that it was kind of sad to know each other for so many years and yet realized that you do not know them at all actually. Sometimes, change is inevitable.

I pray that 2008 will be a year of God’s leading and direction in my life…

Merry Christmas!!

It's Christmas today, the day of our dear Saviour's birth. But Christmas this year had passed by without much fanfare, despite the rampant gifts buying, giving and receiving at my workplace. In the midst of all our busyness, did we forget the true meaning of Christmas once again? I don't want to think about the work tomorrow. After all, there's still one hour left til the next day. It's still Christmas day today.

Pastor's topic for today's sermon was on "Yielded Vessels". Then he went on to talk about the potter and the clay and how we are all clay in God's hands. As the Potter, he will shape us and put us through the furnace in order to make us what He wants us to be. Wonder at which stage of the 'clay-making' I'm at now. But it did make me think through my last 23 years of life. I thank God that there were not many great trials and tribulations and that whatever I had gone through had made me the person I am today.

I was also looking through some past blog entries and came across this. I had posted this more than 1 year ago, after my graduation.

Quite random actually. Haha. Think I'm asking for too much.

Ideal Boyfriend
A Christian
Loves me
Loves children
Dependable and responsible
Able to 'click' with him (same frequency)
Understanding
Has a car
Smart and capable, preferably in a leadership position
Gives me flowers
Calls me just to hear my voice
Tall
Sends me home at night (right to my doorstep)
Sensitive
Not afraid to share his feelings and to be vulnerable in front of me
Not egoistic
Able to stand up for me
Does not swear
Supportive
Not overly protective
Will be there when I need him

Christmas' coming

I wonder if I get frustrated more easily nowadays. The words and conduct of some people seemed to get to me more than it used to before. Or am I just imagining things again?

2007 is almost over. And as usual, I'm prone to reminiscing again at this time of the year. In fact, I've noticed that most of my recent posts were rather melancholic. But Christmas is coming. Which means that this should be a joyous occasion.

Perhaps I'm just tired. Sometimes I wished I could just go on a long holiday and not bother about anything, or anyone, anymore. I’m also tired of empty words, and people saying things that they don’t mean.

Why can't things be simpler?

I don't think I ever want to talk to you again...

Yesterday's topic during cell was on the story of Moses. Actually, I had always felt that the story of Moses was like that of Joseph. Like Joseph, Moses had to go through quite a lot before God revealed to him what His plan for him was. Perhaps at times, God wants to use our brokenness to show His glory as we learnt to depend more and more on Him.

Actually, I had written the above last Sat but I didn't post it yet as it was incomplete. In fact, I had forgotten what I had written then until I saw it again today. Now, looking back at the week that had passed, I could how applicable the above paragraph was.

Though I had not gone through what Moses and Joseph had gone through, I could relate to how they had felt during that time of trials. But what I'm feeling how is nothing compared to them either.

Sometimes I do not understand why is it that some people would intentionally want to hurt others. Especially if she is a fellow sister in Christ as well. Yet for every person who tried to hurt me, God has placed others in my life who have been such a blessing and encouragement to me. And I thank God for them.

After all, there'll always be ups and downs in our lives

"Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

James 1: 2-4

Wives and Husbands

Yesterday’s sermon was on the responsibilities of wives and husbands. The pastor quoted from Ephesians 5: 22 – 33.

22Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

Perhaps the part on how wives should submit to their husbands is a hard pill to swallow for most women, considering the independence that we enjoy nowadays. But somehow, I felt that the husband’s role would be more difficult to fulfill. After all, how many men can truly love their wives the way Christ loved the church? Christ sacrificed his life for the church. If a husband loves his wife that much, it’s no wonder that the wife would be willing to submit to him. So to all my female readers out there, if you ever find such a guy who loves you so much, don’t ever let him go…

That will be the ideal husband, but the pragmatic side of me feels that such men are few and far between, and most women will have to settle for less. I wished I would never fall into that category of settling for less but perhaps I’m being too idealistic here. I do not want to get married just for the sake of getting married and end up miserable all my life, or worst, affecting the lives of my children as well. Yet I guess this is easier said than done, as even though there is equality between men and women in today's society, single women are often still ostracized and made fun of, especially those who are of marriageable age.

Well, one of my friends blogged that her basic criteria for a boyfriend is that he has to be christian and must love God as much as, or more than, she does, and that is already not easy to find. So with my kind of expectations, I supposed I might as well remain single all my life then.

I read The Alchemist last month. In short, the story is about a shepherd boy who went in search of treasure and in the process, found his purpose in life as well. Anyway, I remembered that in the book, there was this part where the shepherd boy was thinking about why he chose to be a shepherd instead of studying at seminary. And one of the reasons was that he didn't want to get too close to the people at the seminary because he had felt that people usually like to change others to be the person that they like him to be. He went on to say that people usually have a better idea of how others should live but have no idea of how they themselves should live.

At times, I feel that this is so true. We don't practice what we preached do we? Guess people will always have certain perceptions of you no matter what you do anyway. After all, we usually tend to see others based on who we are and our own perceptions and not as who they really are.

Only He sees us as who we are inside...

Loving our neighbours

I don't know about others but for me, this has got to be one of the most difficult things to do. After all, how do you love the people who have hurt you? Just yesterday, I was so frustrated with a colleague as he was just so insensitive and rude.

Perhaps it was timely then that the day before, on Sunday, my pastor was preaching on, as you might have guessed, loving our neighbours. He had shared this verse:

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbour as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.

Matthew 22: 37 - 40


And I recalled another verse related to this:

(Jesus said) But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.

Luke 6: 27-29


One of my colleage also lent me a book called "The Root of Rejection" today. In it, the author had written on how Jesus was rejected and persecuted by the very people He had come to save. And yet He still loves them. He didn't have to face the rejection but He did it for us. If He could do it for us, why can't I do this for Him?

Wedding

Just came back from an ex-classmate's wedding. He was someone I knew back from my TPJC days. Also got to catch up with the other JC classmates there. Think I had blogged sometime ago that weddings might be the only time we could catch up with old friends when we start working in future. Didn't think that it'll happen so soon. Anyway, most of the girls were already working while most of the guys were still studying. Except for one who is already married and now pregnant..hehe...

And typical of most weddings, we started asking each other who will be next. Then another classmate inform us that hers will be in March next year.

Wonder when it'll be my turn?
Oh well...it's all in His plan...