2007...

Today is the last day of 2007. With each passing year, I’ve grown older. Though not necessarily wiser. How has 2007 been to me? I guess it will be difficult to sum it all up in a few words. Looking back, there were events that have changed my life, but they are too personal for me to blog here. In retrospect, I wished there were some things that I could have done better and some that I wished I had not done. Yet it’s too late for regrets now.

Where my job is concerned, I am still working in the same company as last year. Actually I did not expect to stay for so long. Neither did my Head expect that of me I supposed. But as I was telling some of my friends, I hate to leave without really achieving anything. Perhaps also, deep inside, I am somehow convicted that God has put me here for a reason. I think I have blogged before that I am thankful for the encouraging and supportive colleagues around me, and for some good friends that I’ve made as well. Yet I could also see that some things have changed. Relationships do not remain status quo all the time. It was sad too to see years of friendship break down because of something that might not even be true in the first place. Was the bond that fragile to begin with? I still don’t and perhaps never will understand why it is that some people chose to behave the way they do, and ended up hurting the people who had cared about them. Although office politics was not very apparent here, it still exists nonetheless.

I pray that 2008 will be a year of healing and restoration of relationships…


For my family, I believed most of my close friends would have known about my grandmother’s situation. The last few months have been quite a trying period for us, especially for my aunt and her family.

I pray that 2008 will be a year of renewed faith for my family…


At the beginning of 2007, I had also decided to stop attending the LG that I have been attending for the past 3 years. I am currently attending my friend’s CG from another church. I remembered telling my CG mentor a few weeks ago that it was kind of sad to know each other for so many years and yet realized that you do not know them at all actually. Sometimes, change is inevitable.

I pray that 2008 will be a year of God’s leading and direction in my life…

Merry Christmas!!

It's Christmas today, the day of our dear Saviour's birth. But Christmas this year had passed by without much fanfare, despite the rampant gifts buying, giving and receiving at my workplace. In the midst of all our busyness, did we forget the true meaning of Christmas once again? I don't want to think about the work tomorrow. After all, there's still one hour left til the next day. It's still Christmas day today.

Pastor's topic for today's sermon was on "Yielded Vessels". Then he went on to talk about the potter and the clay and how we are all clay in God's hands. As the Potter, he will shape us and put us through the furnace in order to make us what He wants us to be. Wonder at which stage of the 'clay-making' I'm at now. But it did make me think through my last 23 years of life. I thank God that there were not many great trials and tribulations and that whatever I had gone through had made me the person I am today.

I was also looking through some past blog entries and came across this. I had posted this more than 1 year ago, after my graduation.

Quite random actually. Haha. Think I'm asking for too much.

Ideal Boyfriend
A Christian
Loves me
Loves children
Dependable and responsible
Able to 'click' with him (same frequency)
Understanding
Has a car
Smart and capable, preferably in a leadership position
Gives me flowers
Calls me just to hear my voice
Tall
Sends me home at night (right to my doorstep)
Sensitive
Not afraid to share his feelings and to be vulnerable in front of me
Not egoistic
Able to stand up for me
Does not swear
Supportive
Not overly protective
Will be there when I need him

Christmas' coming

I wonder if I get frustrated more easily nowadays. The words and conduct of some people seemed to get to me more than it used to before. Or am I just imagining things again?

2007 is almost over. And as usual, I'm prone to reminiscing again at this time of the year. In fact, I've noticed that most of my recent posts were rather melancholic. But Christmas is coming. Which means that this should be a joyous occasion.

Perhaps I'm just tired. Sometimes I wished I could just go on a long holiday and not bother about anything, or anyone, anymore. I’m also tired of empty words, and people saying things that they don’t mean.

Why can't things be simpler?

I don't think I ever want to talk to you again...

Yesterday's topic during cell was on the story of Moses. Actually, I had always felt that the story of Moses was like that of Joseph. Like Joseph, Moses had to go through quite a lot before God revealed to him what His plan for him was. Perhaps at times, God wants to use our brokenness to show His glory as we learnt to depend more and more on Him.

Actually, I had written the above last Sat but I didn't post it yet as it was incomplete. In fact, I had forgotten what I had written then until I saw it again today. Now, looking back at the week that had passed, I could how applicable the above paragraph was.

Though I had not gone through what Moses and Joseph had gone through, I could relate to how they had felt during that time of trials. But what I'm feeling how is nothing compared to them either.

Sometimes I do not understand why is it that some people would intentionally want to hurt others. Especially if she is a fellow sister in Christ as well. Yet for every person who tried to hurt me, God has placed others in my life who have been such a blessing and encouragement to me. And I thank God for them.

After all, there'll always be ups and downs in our lives

"Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

James 1: 2-4

Wives and Husbands

Yesterday’s sermon was on the responsibilities of wives and husbands. The pastor quoted from Ephesians 5: 22 – 33.

22Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

Perhaps the part on how wives should submit to their husbands is a hard pill to swallow for most women, considering the independence that we enjoy nowadays. But somehow, I felt that the husband’s role would be more difficult to fulfill. After all, how many men can truly love their wives the way Christ loved the church? Christ sacrificed his life for the church. If a husband loves his wife that much, it’s no wonder that the wife would be willing to submit to him. So to all my female readers out there, if you ever find such a guy who loves you so much, don’t ever let him go…

That will be the ideal husband, but the pragmatic side of me feels that such men are few and far between, and most women will have to settle for less. I wished I would never fall into that category of settling for less but perhaps I’m being too idealistic here. I do not want to get married just for the sake of getting married and end up miserable all my life, or worst, affecting the lives of my children as well. Yet I guess this is easier said than done, as even though there is equality between men and women in today's society, single women are often still ostracized and made fun of, especially those who are of marriageable age.

Well, one of my friends blogged that her basic criteria for a boyfriend is that he has to be christian and must love God as much as, or more than, she does, and that is already not easy to find. So with my kind of expectations, I supposed I might as well remain single all my life then.

I read The Alchemist last month. In short, the story is about a shepherd boy who went in search of treasure and in the process, found his purpose in life as well. Anyway, I remembered that in the book, there was this part where the shepherd boy was thinking about why he chose to be a shepherd instead of studying at seminary. And one of the reasons was that he didn't want to get too close to the people at the seminary because he had felt that people usually like to change others to be the person that they like him to be. He went on to say that people usually have a better idea of how others should live but have no idea of how they themselves should live.

At times, I feel that this is so true. We don't practice what we preached do we? Guess people will always have certain perceptions of you no matter what you do anyway. After all, we usually tend to see others based on who we are and our own perceptions and not as who they really are.

Only He sees us as who we are inside...

Loving our neighbours

I don't know about others but for me, this has got to be one of the most difficult things to do. After all, how do you love the people who have hurt you? Just yesterday, I was so frustrated with a colleague as he was just so insensitive and rude.

Perhaps it was timely then that the day before, on Sunday, my pastor was preaching on, as you might have guessed, loving our neighbours. He had shared this verse:

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbour as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.

Matthew 22: 37 - 40


And I recalled another verse related to this:

(Jesus said) But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.

Luke 6: 27-29


One of my colleage also lent me a book called "The Root of Rejection" today. In it, the author had written on how Jesus was rejected and persecuted by the very people He had come to save. And yet He still loves them. He didn't have to face the rejection but He did it for us. If He could do it for us, why can't I do this for Him?

Wedding

Just came back from an ex-classmate's wedding. He was someone I knew back from my TPJC days. Also got to catch up with the other JC classmates there. Think I had blogged sometime ago that weddings might be the only time we could catch up with old friends when we start working in future. Didn't think that it'll happen so soon. Anyway, most of the girls were already working while most of the guys were still studying. Except for one who is already married and now pregnant..hehe...

And typical of most weddings, we started asking each other who will be next. Then another classmate inform us that hers will be in March next year.

Wonder when it'll be my turn?
Oh well...it's all in His plan...

One year older

I turned one year older last Sunday, hee...Yupz, thanks to all who send me their birthday greetings and for the pressies as well...

Saw this in Kia's blog. It's one of Corrinne May's new songs...


Five Loaves and Two Fishes
by Corrinne May

A little boy of thirteen, was on his way to school
He heard a crowd of people laughing,
and he went to take a look
Thousands were listening, to the stories of one man
He spoke with such wisdom, even the kids could understand

The hours passed by quickly, the day turn into night
Everyone was hungry, but there was no food in sight
The boy looked into his lunchbox, at the little that he had
He wasn't sure what good it'd do, there were thousands to be fed

But he saw the twinkling eyes of Jesus, the kindness in
His smileand the boy cried out with the trust of a child, he said:

"Take my five loaves and two fishes
do with it as you will, I surrender. Take my fears and my inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all, to feed them all.

"I often think about that boy, when I'm feeling small
and I worry that the work I do, means nothing at all
But every single tear I cry, is a diamond in His hands
and every door that slams in my face, I will offer up in prayer

So I'll give you every breath that I have.
Oh Lord, you can work miracles
All you need is my "Amen"

Take my five loaves and two fishes
do with it as you will, I surrender.
Take my fears and my inhibitionsAll my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all, I hope it's not too small.

I trust in you, I trust in you

Take my five loaves and two fishes
do with it as you will, I surrender.
Take my fears and my inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all, no gift is too small.

Last class

Last Saturday was the last class for the floral arrangement course. Hence, there was a 'graduation' ceremony for all participants.

Here's a compilation of the floral arrangements that we did during the six-week course. There were actually 6 arrangements but I forgot to take the photo of one of them.

Mochi Mochi

I 'stole' this from a friend's website, who is into making Japanese mochi, or Daifuku, at the moment. That's the cross-section of one.

So if you're interested, you can visit her website, http://ichigodaifukuinnagoya.blogspot.com/

Blessing in Disguise

Sometimes change is inevitable.
With every ending comes a new beginning.

I don't really believe in coincidences. I believe that there is a reason for the things that happened in our lives, just that we might not know it when it occured. Just like what happened today. Guess it really was a blessing in disguise as it helped me to realise that it really is time to move on.

I had learnt much too during the past 13 years that I've been there. At least it had helped laid the foundation for me, which was perhaps what I needed at that time. Though there were certain unpleasant incidents, they had also helped me discover more about human nature and in the process, more about myself as well. As usual, on hindsight, there were so many things that I could have done better but I supposed there's no point harping on that now. If nothing else, at least I had accepted Christ then.

Now, it's time to move on to another level; on to establishing deeper relationships. If I remained in my comfort zone, I will never do that. A few months ago, I thought I could start anew in the same old place. But the place isn't that big, and I ended up meeting the same people again.

she asked me how it went.

i told her i don't know and that they'll get back to me

then she told me to pray about where God wants me to go

God is telling me to leave......

Commencement 2007

I attended Ting's and Jo's commencement ceremony on Thursday. It was held at NUS University Cultural Centre. I remembered the last time I went back to NUS was last year, for my own commencement ceremony. Also saw some familiar faces. People who had graduated or were graduating this year. I guess it goes without saying that I am getting older now. Anyway, we also took quite a bit of photos since we were not sure when we would go back to NUS again, if ever.

Me with Jo. My hair's longer than hers now. Hehe.

Me with Ting, and her nice sunflower =)

I think I had blogged sometime last year about how photos helped us to remember and recall events that had past. But, I'm also beginning to wonder about the validity of photos. After all, photos are rather two dimensional. As in, they only showed one side of the story most of the time; what is reflected on the photos largely depended on how the photographer took the photos in the first place. And aren't people almost always smiling when taking photos?

Perhaps at times, the best memories are the ones that we kept in our hearts.

On eagle's wings

For those in the know, these few weeks have been quite difficult for me. My grandma hasn't been feeling well and to make things worse, we were short-handed at work too. On top of that, we received some information last week that there was some problem with the auto-upload and that the data have to be updated manually. Just fantastic. Sometimes I felt like throwing in the towel and giving up altogether.

But thankfully, this week has been less hectic. And thinking back, I see God's blessings that could perhaps only be seen on hindsight. Some thanksgiving:

1. My boss managed to get an intern to help us out this week and it turned out that IT managed to solve the problem and we do not need to do the manual update after all. =)
2. The prayers of my fellow christian brothers for my grandma. Though she's still unwell, I really appreciate their concern.

Also saw this article on my company's internal magazine. It was on eagles.

Eagles enjoy the longest life expectancy among bird species. They can live up to 70 years. In order to survive, they have to make a critical decision at the age of 40.

When eagles turn 40, their claws weaken and it is hard for them to catch preys. Their beaks are growing long & curved almost touching their chest. Their wings are heavier due to thick & long feathers

They have 2 Choices:

• Die
• Or undergoing a painful transformation 50 days of perservarence & steadfastness...

They have to fly to the top.

Build their home there And REST.

They have to hit their beaks against the rock till they fall off. And wait patiently for the new beaks to grow.They will use their new beaks to pull out their nails. With their newly grown nails, they will then clean off their old feathers.

5 months later, the eagles will fly again with their new feathers. They renew their strength for another 30 years!

Sometimes we have to make difficult decisions in life. In order to embark on a new journey. Let go your old habits and traditions, And let yourself fly again. Like the Eagles. If we put down our old self, "eagerly" pick up new skills, we are able to explore the undiscovered talents in us.

ISAIAH 40:31

But those who wait on the Lord

Shall renew their strength;

They shall mount up with wings like eagles,

They shall run and not be weary,

They shall walk and not faint.

Then my colleague told me something about how eagles will stir up the nest of their chicks in order to teach them how to fly. And if the chicks fall, the mother eagle would fly down to 'scoop' them up on her wings. After some time, the chicks would learn how to fly.

After reading and hearing these 2 stories, I felt that eagles are really amazing. And more amazing still is their Creator.

Even though everything seemed to be going terribly wrong sometimes. I know that He will always be there to catch me when I fall.

Perhaps one day I'll be able to soar on eagle's wings.

Musical time

I went to watch Phantom of the Opera with Kia yesterday at The Esplanade. Initially, I had thought that we might have problems watching it since we were sitting at the highest floor, but it turned out to be quite alright actually.

Kia said that Raul (or is it Raoul?) is good-looking and was glad that he and Christine were together in the end. But actually, a part of me was hoping that Christine and the Phantom would be together instead. Haha, maybe it's just me who feels that way.

Anyway, in case you're wondering why I'm blogging at this time, no, I'm not using office hours to blog. Just that I'm on MC today.

Ok, one for the memories...

Floral Arrangement!

I went for my first floral arrangement class yesterday. It was organized by my church. I was quite excited actually. Hehe..who said floral arrangement is only for middle-aged ladies anyway?

Here's my first 'creation'.

Too bad I won't be able to attend the class next Sat due to work commitments. =(

Back from Cameron Highlands

We returned from Cameron Highlands on Monday. It was just a short getaway over the weekend. Here're some photos. My first time putting photos in my blog. So exciting =>

We stayed at Strawberry Part resort. This is not a very nice photo though.

Anyway this is our living room. Messy huh?

The view from our balcony. Really breathtaking, especially in the mornings when the clouds cover part of the mountains.

Orang Asli's house.

We travelled around in this jeep-like vehicle on the first day. It actually looks pretty nice here. Can't say the same for the inside though =P

After our tour to the orang asli village (which is not really a village actually as we only went to one house), we headed down to Brinchang town for our steamboat dinner. Initially we wanted to eat at the Highlands restaurant but it was already full house. So we ended up eating at another restaurant instead.

Realised that Ting had uploaded our photos for our trip on her blog, so if you're interested, go see her blog k.

Think I shall just end this entry now. Yes, I know it's a little incomplete but the photos are really taking a long time to load. I'm a lazy pig =P

Just came back from a company retreat in Batam 2 days ago. It was my first time there but did not really get to see much of Batam as we remained in the resort most of the time. The retreat was quite alright I supposed. Also got to know some of my colleagues better.

Anyway, yesterday in the MRT on my way back from work, I heard some students talking about their exams and 'Genes and Society' popped up in the their conversation. Then it occured to me that now is perhaps exam time for those studying in NUS. But I'm not going to start reminiscing again.

Some good news then. Just got my bonus and a slight pay increment, which actually comes as a surprise since I've only worked for less than a year. Oh well, guess I shouldn't be complaining so much and should start counting my blessings instead.

My cactus is dying. =(

For those who don't know, I bought a cactus last year and placed in on my office table. I was going to water it last Thursday when I realised that one side of it, near the roots, had turned black.

I started to panic. My colleague told me that it could be because I've over-watered it. I supposed this has been going on for quite a while, since it would not have turn black overnight. If only I had noticed the symptoms earlier, except that I don't know what to look out for in the first place. Until it's too late.

Perhaps at times, life is like that too. We don't notice the symptoms til it's too late.

No One is Righteous

No One is righteous

There is no one righteous, not even one;
there is no one who understands,
no one who seeks God.
All have turned away,
they have together become worthless;
there is no one who does good,
not even one."
"Their throats are open graves;
their tongues practice deceit."
"The poison of vipers is on their lips."
"Their mouths are full of cursing and bitterness."
"Their feet are swift to shed blood;
ruin and misery mark their ways,
and the way of peace they do not know."
"There is no fear of God before their eyes."

Romans 3: 10-18


For everyone has sinned;
we all fall short of God’s glorious standard.
Yet God, with undeserved kindness, declares that we are righteous.
He did this through Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty for our sins. For God presented Jesus as the sacrifice for sin.
People are made right with God
when they believe that Jesus sacrificed his life, shedding his blood

Romans 3: 23-25

This verse was brought up during the class this afternoon:


Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.

Matthew 7:21

Then our leader went on to talk about salvation. Can a Christian lose his salvation? Or rather, is he really a Christian in the first place? What does it take to believe in Jesus?

No, Christians aren't perfect. But God is.

If only they knew what He had done for us.

If only they could see how much He loves us.

If only they could believe

Lord, I want to see them in heaven....

A post

Someone said that I've not blogged for quite a while so here am I blogging again. Hehe

Actually I did not blog because I didn't think that there was anything interesting going on in my life at the moment. That, and the fact that I was lazy too.

Perhaps just a little update then. I'm currently attending the Baptism and Membership class in my church. It's pretty interesting. Got to know some new friends and some "old" friends better too. Have been contemplating on something recently, but have not really come to a decision yet. Oh well, we shall see how it goes I supposed.

Anyway, there is also the the company retreat to Batam near the end of April, which meant that I had to skip the confirmation ceremony. If only the retreat could have ended earlier. Haiz.

And after that would be the trip to Cameron Highlands with Ting and Shujun. *yay* Even though it will just be a short one, at least it's something that we can look forward to.

Tried this test again. The accuracy of it really creeps me out at times...



It would appear that at this particular time of your life you are going through a tough time. You are feeling (or have recently felt) miserable and depressed and perhaps you are still feeling that way. Maybe all the trials and tribulations just aren't worth it. Your present anxieties could have been associated with either your 'private' or 'business' life - whatever ... what you really need at this time is to get away from it all, maybe a vacation - alone, or better still, perhaps with someone that you know really cares for you, someone who appreciates you - not for what you have but for who you are. A short vacation may be all you need to afford you the time to recover and to get back to your normal vital self.

You are a very warm and emotional individual but unfortunately in the past too many people have taken advantage of this sensitive trait. You need aesthetic surroundings, or an equally sensitive and understanding partner with whom to share a warm understanding.

You feel tired - worn out and listless. The last thing that you want to do is to be in an open conflict with those around you that are forever tormenting you. What to do? That's the rub. You are feeling that you are being choked - unable to breathe.

From every direction there appear to be unwarranted restrictions on your freedom of action and this is producing considerable stress. You're really looking for independence and freedom from any restriction and therefore avoiding any obligations or anything which might prove hampering. You are being subjected to considerable pressures and you would like nothing better than to escape from them but you tend to lack the necessary strength of purpose to succeed in this. Whichever way you turn you are being frustrated. You need to be free to do your 'thing' in your own way.

You are anxious about all the limitations to which you are subjected to at this time. You feel that you are not valued for what or who you are. You need OUT. So why procrastinate any longer - MOVE!

I finally sent the email to Maurice. Perhaps I’ve decided that this is the best way. After all, how many times can I continue to delude myself, to make myself believe that there was something worth staying on for?

Because I was never a part of them.
Because I don’t belong there.
Because I can’t really get along with them anyway

Just take it that I am selfish. I want them to be concerned about me. To really treat me as a friend and not merely as a member of the group.

But that didn’t happen.

You know, there are two ways that people can hurt you. One is by the things that they do and the other is by what they didn’t.

I’m tired. I just gave up. I don’t want to carry on anymore. I don’t need to prove to anyone anything.

I don’t want to push all the blame to them. After all, I was partly at fault too. I didn’t ever open up much with them. I couldn’t.

But it’s not their fault. Some things just can’t be forced. And in their defence, they didn’t know how I had felt in the first place. So perhaps it’s best to make an exit now instead of dragging it on. Just didn’t realise that it has been so difficult to make this decision. Maybe I was still hoping that some things could change.


Jialing, Cheryl, Kris, Ryan, Joel, Jeremy, Ralph
Though you’ll never read my blog, I wish you all the best….
And if you happen to chance upon this entry, now you know how I feel but I guess that would hardly matter now….

Should I go?

This will be one of my rambling posts, so you can don't read it. I just want to get it off my chest.


I don't know why I had to put myself in such a dilemma. Perhaps it's just so hard to break away when you've been there for so long. I don't even know how to reply them now.

But it's nothing really. Nothing happened.
Yet maybe that's the problem.
There was nothing
Maybe it worked for them, but somehow I don't really feel belonged there.
Perhaps I never will, and I have been deluding myself all along.

It was like that last year, and the year before. So what makes me think this year will be any different. It has to end one day, right?

I hate to leave like this. I wanted so much for things to go right. A fellowship where there is trust and openness. But all I felt was emptiness. This feels like history repeating itself again.

Looking back now, I'm not even sure if there's anything that I could have done differently.
Except maybe to get out, instead of dragging it on year after year. There are only so many excuses I can make.

Colorgenics test

Colorgenics Test
http://www.paulgoldin.com/colorgenics.htm

You have always longed for tenderness, love and a sensitivity of feeling into which you would like to blend. You are a very gentle warm person and responsive to 'All things bright and beautiful'. This personifies a caring person, a person who 'needs' and indeed 'needs to be needed'.

You are trying to improve your position and prestige - be it in your life or in your workplace. Things are, at this time, OK - but they could be better. You feel that it is essential that you break down any opposition that could possibly lurk in the shadows. You know that you are quite capable of achieving this set goal because you have to and because it is essential to your self esteem.

You feel tired - worn out and listless. The last thing that you want to do is to be in an open conflict with those around you that are forever tormenting you. What to do? That's the rub. You are feeling that you are being choked - unable to breathe.

Presently, you are experiencing stress because of restriction on your independence. You need and seek respect from other people and it is essential that they appreciate you for yourself and not for what they would like you to be. You have your own beliefs and convictions and you would like to be respected for them. You are anxious to avail yourself of every opportunity that may come your way but nevertheless, come what may, you have the need to control your own destiny without imposed limitations or restrictions.

You wish to be left in peace... no more conflict and no more differences of opinion. In fact you just don't want to be involved in arguments of any shape or form. All you want is for 'them' to get on with it - and to leave you alone.

A little break

Finally had the time to update my blog. The past few days have been rather hectic since it was year-end. Really thankful that today and tomorrow were holidays. Guess I didn't realise how beneficial a little break can be. Even my weekends had been rather packed since I've started work, probably because that was the only time that I would get to go out and meet up with friends.

It's another year again. The past 6 months have been rather eventful, though it had gone by without much fanfare and surprises either. I had graduated, found a job and the economy is good. Looking back, I realised that God had blessed me in more ways than one yet I still lamented about the things that I lacked. Perhaps my new year resolution this year should be to learn to be grateful for what I have and not complain so much. I still remembered the resolution I made at the beginning of last year, regarding the lg. Oh well, I suppose it's time to move on and not to stick to my comfort zone anymore.

what does the future hold? I guess only God knows...