Mind-block. Can't get any ideas out.
I've been stuck at the same paragraph since 12 hours ago.
What are the cost and benefits of IS in provision shops?
It's only a 5 page report for goodness sake. Why can't I just finish it??
Don't know why I've been feeling distracted.
Wonder why I've to get myself into all these.
Sometimes I wonder if life would be easier if I just didn't take that first step and agree to take on that responsibility.
What was I thinking then? That I could really make a difference?
Being feeling discouraged over the spate of events recently.
Well, perhaps things weren't that great last sem and we did take quite a while to get started. But I thought this sem would be different, now that we've gotten to know each other better.
What matters is not the size, but what we could learn together as a group. I felt that I've failed in this aspect. That somehow I could not measure up. That perhaps they might be better off being under someone else instead.
Don't get me wrong, I love these people but I'm just so tired now. I just felt like giving up. Perhaps they don't need me anyway.
Saturday, February 25, 2006
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
Personality test
Get to know yourself better
Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties. (do i really look at both sides?? =P)
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are not looking merely for a girl/boyfriend - you are looking for your life partner. Perhaps you should be more open-minded about who you spend time with. The person you are looking for might hide their charm under their exterior. (oh dear, then how? I can't read minds leh)
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person. (ya...that is if i manage to meet that person)
The seriousness of your love:
You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love. (....)
Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.
The right job for you:
You have many goals and want to achieve as much as you can. The jobs you enjoy are those that let you burn off your considerable excess energy. (erm...watever this means...)
How do you view success:
Success in your career is not the most important thing in life. You are content with what you have and think that being with someone you love is more than spending all of your precious time just working. (this is quite true though)
What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.
Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve. (no leh...where got anyone ask me for advice?)
You can try it too at http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx
Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties. (do i really look at both sides?? =P)
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are not looking merely for a girl/boyfriend - you are looking for your life partner. Perhaps you should be more open-minded about who you spend time with. The person you are looking for might hide their charm under their exterior. (oh dear, then how? I can't read minds leh)
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person. (ya...that is if i manage to meet that person)
The seriousness of your love:
You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love. (....)
Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.
The right job for you:
You have many goals and want to achieve as much as you can. The jobs you enjoy are those that let you burn off your considerable excess energy. (erm...watever this means...)
How do you view success:
Success in your career is not the most important thing in life. You are content with what you have and think that being with someone you love is more than spending all of your precious time just working. (this is quite true though)
What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.
Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve. (no leh...where got anyone ask me for advice?)
You can try it too at http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx
Hindsight
On hindsight, everything seems clearer. Yet hindsight is a luxury most of us cannot afford most of the time.
Just read my bro's most recent blog entry. A part of me just wished to tell him: Why are you still thinking of her? Get over it already, she's not worth it!! There are better girls out there. But how can I do that? Not when I used to behave in that way too. Heez...and I thought only girls would be that foolish. What I don't understand is that why must she behave in that way? I mean, is an email that difficult to reply? Does she really think she's so wonderful that so many guys are going after her till she doesn't even have time to reply to one email?
Yes, ok, I know I'm being biased here 'cos this is only one side of the story. Maybe she's really busy. Maybe she didn't receive it. Maybe it got sent to her junk folder instead and she deleted it accidentally. So many 'maybes'. Reminded me of the rationalization theory i.e. finding excuses for certain behaviour.
Perhaps at times we'd prefer to indulge in our own little fantasies and keep on hoping and wishing than face the cold, hard truth. Then again, as I've mentioned before, who am I to comment?
Sunday, February 19, 2006
Journey
J O U R N E Y
Written by Corrinne May Ying Foo
Copyright 1999, Corrmay Gourmet Music (ASCAP)
It's a long, long journey
Till I know where I'm supposed to be
It's a long, long journey
and I don't know if I can believe
When shadows fall and block my eyes
I am lost and know that I must hide
It's a long, long journey
Till I find my way home to you
Many days I've spent
Drifting on through empty shores
Wondering what's my purpose
Wondering how to make me strong
I know I will falter I know I will cry
I know you'll be standing by my side
It's a long, long journey
And I need to be close to you
Sometimes it seems no one understands
I don't even know why I do the things I do
When pride builds me up till I can't see my soul
Will you break down these walls and pull me through?
'Cause it's a long, long journey
Till I feel that I am worth the price
You paid for me on calvary
Beneath those stormy skies
When Satan mocks and friends turn to foes
It feels like everything is out to make me lose control
It's a long, long journey
Till I find my way home to you
Guess there are times I feel this way too. It's a long, long journey till I find my way home to you.
Written by Corrinne May Ying Foo
Copyright 1999, Corrmay Gourmet Music (ASCAP)
It's a long, long journey
Till I know where I'm supposed to be
It's a long, long journey
and I don't know if I can believe
When shadows fall and block my eyes
I am lost and know that I must hide
It's a long, long journey
Till I find my way home to you
Many days I've spent
Drifting on through empty shores
Wondering what's my purpose
Wondering how to make me strong
I know I will falter I know I will cry
I know you'll be standing by my side
It's a long, long journey
And I need to be close to you
Sometimes it seems no one understands
I don't even know why I do the things I do
When pride builds me up till I can't see my soul
Will you break down these walls and pull me through?
'Cause it's a long, long journey
Till I feel that I am worth the price
You paid for me on calvary
Beneath those stormy skies
When Satan mocks and friends turn to foes
It feels like everything is out to make me lose control
It's a long, long journey
Till I find my way home to you
Guess there are times I feel this way too. It's a long, long journey till I find my way home to you.
Friday, February 17, 2006
Mid-term break
Today marks the beginning of the mid-semester break and there seemed to be so many things to do: OB project on blogging, MR pampers survey, IT term paper, Biz pol test and so on. The list just seemed to go on and on. So I decided to do my QT instead.
Why did I think that God can wait? That other things are more important than He is? How much time does doing QT take anyway? 15, 20 min? I know that time should never be a valid excuse. It's the attitude that matters.
Yesterday, during dg, my dgl was talking about accountability and mine was to pray consistently. Yes, I did say that I wanted to pray about future directions but before all that I guess all I really wanted was to be in His presence again. To really talk to God without getting distracted. In the midst of my busyness, I know that I have been neglecting my relationship with Him and it has been taking its toll on me. It's so much easier to just go along with everything and before I know it, I find myself drifting so far from where I'd like to be. Perhaps this break is just what I'd need to get back on track again.
After all, if I do not have Jesus, what do I have?
In this world full of hurt and brokenness, it is this perfect love that embraces all. A love that makes all things possible. A love that perhaps I'll never understand.
Why did I think that God can wait? That other things are more important than He is? How much time does doing QT take anyway? 15, 20 min? I know that time should never be a valid excuse. It's the attitude that matters.
Yesterday, during dg, my dgl was talking about accountability and mine was to pray consistently. Yes, I did say that I wanted to pray about future directions but before all that I guess all I really wanted was to be in His presence again. To really talk to God without getting distracted. In the midst of my busyness, I know that I have been neglecting my relationship with Him and it has been taking its toll on me. It's so much easier to just go along with everything and before I know it, I find myself drifting so far from where I'd like to be. Perhaps this break is just what I'd need to get back on track again.
After all, if I do not have Jesus, what do I have?
In this world full of hurt and brokenness, it is this perfect love that embraces all. A love that makes all things possible. A love that perhaps I'll never understand.
Thank you Lord for your love...
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
the Race
I've been wanting to blog about this for the past few days but could not find the time to do so till today. Yup I went for the USR with three other friends over the weekend. For those who do not know, USR actually stands for Uniquely Singapore Race and it was a 2 day 1 night affair aka the Amazing Race. Well, it turned out to be more of a race than amazing as groups just need to run through the checkpoints most of the time. Ok, the other groups ran, we just walked most of the time, especially on the second day.
We went to quite a lot of places, such as Labrador Park, Qian Hu and Sembawang hot springs to name a few. But I guess we (or maybe it's only me) were kind of disappointed that we didn't really get to eat much during the race and on the few occasions when we did, we had to pay for the food ourselves.
On the first day, we went to mostly well-known places like the three ethnic areas and Suntec city. The clues were quite alright though it was nothing like the Food and Heritage Challenge last year. The ending point for the first day was East Coast Park. Initially I'd thought that they would be nice enough to actually give us beds but perhaps I was too optimistic. Everyone ended up sleeping on the floor. Oh well, at least there was shelter.
The second day we went to MacRitchie Reservoir for the first stop. It was my second time there after the LRT project on the tree-top walk but somehow the feeling was rather different this time round. Anyway we made a mistake and ended up spending quite a long time there. From there we went to Chua Chu Kang and then to Qian Hu farm, where we need to catch fishes as our task. That was one of the more enjoyable tasks (though I only managed to catch 1 fish but thanks to my other group members we managed to complete the task). The next stop was Sembawang satay club where we had to grill our own satay (only 5 sticks) and finish the "Yu Sheng". As we were eating, we could see the other groups gobbling down the food yet we simply sat down and took our own sweet time to eat. In fact, the station master even came over and asked if we're enjoying the food. Haha... I can't really remember the stops after that but I remembered going to Upper Seletar Reservoir (ya, 2 reservoirs in 1 day) for one of the stops. It was almost evening by then so the view there was really nice. Anlian commented that it was like God showering his love on us and I couldn't agree more.
Other than these, there were also other places that we went but I guess I shall not put everything in here, lest it gets too boring. Yupz, really thankful for my three friends namely Anlian, Jo and Ting. Thanks for enduring my whining throughout the two days. Though we did not win anything in the end, I guess we're not in this for the prizes anyway.
We went to quite a lot of places, such as Labrador Park, Qian Hu and Sembawang hot springs to name a few. But I guess we (or maybe it's only me) were kind of disappointed that we didn't really get to eat much during the race and on the few occasions when we did, we had to pay for the food ourselves.
On the first day, we went to mostly well-known places like the three ethnic areas and Suntec city. The clues were quite alright though it was nothing like the Food and Heritage Challenge last year. The ending point for the first day was East Coast Park. Initially I'd thought that they would be nice enough to actually give us beds but perhaps I was too optimistic. Everyone ended up sleeping on the floor. Oh well, at least there was shelter.
The second day we went to MacRitchie Reservoir for the first stop. It was my second time there after the LRT project on the tree-top walk but somehow the feeling was rather different this time round. Anyway we made a mistake and ended up spending quite a long time there. From there we went to Chua Chu Kang and then to Qian Hu farm, where we need to catch fishes as our task. That was one of the more enjoyable tasks (though I only managed to catch 1 fish but thanks to my other group members we managed to complete the task). The next stop was Sembawang satay club where we had to grill our own satay (only 5 sticks) and finish the "Yu Sheng". As we were eating, we could see the other groups gobbling down the food yet we simply sat down and took our own sweet time to eat. In fact, the station master even came over and asked if we're enjoying the food. Haha... I can't really remember the stops after that but I remembered going to Upper Seletar Reservoir (ya, 2 reservoirs in 1 day) for one of the stops. It was almost evening by then so the view there was really nice. Anlian commented that it was like God showering his love on us and I couldn't agree more.
Other than these, there were also other places that we went but I guess I shall not put everything in here, lest it gets too boring. Yupz, really thankful for my three friends namely Anlian, Jo and Ting. Thanks for enduring my whining throughout the two days. Though we did not win anything in the end, I guess we're not in this for the prizes anyway.
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