I sms her yesterday to inform her that I could not agree to what she's asking. And she did not reply me. Maybe I shouldn't be too surprised after all. I understand that she might be in a difficult position and it is not an easy task to find the people but...

I don't know. I mean, are we friends only when I agree to everything that you asked of me? Shouldn't true friends be the ones who can take 'no' for an answer? Then again, we weren't really friends are we? It seemed that it was just circumstances that brought us together. Friends are supposed to care for each other. Yet at times, it seemed that when I share, no one really seemed to care and I'm just sharing for the sake of sharing. So please do not blame me for putting up a defence everytime I'm around them. I've been hurt so many times I don't even know if I can really trust them anymore. We've known each other for over 10 years yet I don't think I can say I know them more than perhaps 5 years ago. It's kind of sad when I look back and realise that all my time invested there had perhaps come to nothing in the end. What makes it even more sad is the fact that we'll be spending eternity together. I know I'm rather idealistic at times but how wonderful it would be if we could truly share and care for each other, instead of such superficial relationships. Looks like time isn't an accurate indicator of the depth of our relationship after all.