Musings

Two days ago, I had lunch with Kia at NYDC. It had been quite a while since we went out together. Actually I gave her a treat to thank her for lending me her guitar for the Christmas party. Also gave her the super-belated Christmas present, at long last. I had intended to give her something else but as I had left it in the office, I gave her another gift instead. Well, perhaps the first gift wasn't meant to be?

Anyway, we also saw this cute little baby at the restaurant and he kept bouncing up and down while seated. So cute! Then I was telling Kia about how babies have big heads not in proportion to their bodies. And she went on to say that I like big-headed things. Haha.

Work these days is still rather hectic, but there has been an improvement from the beginning of the year. It's the learning curve I guess. I remembered that when I first started work 1 and a half years ago, I was so tired after work that I seldom switch on my laptop when I got home. After all, I had faced the computer the whole day at work. But nowadays, I have been spending more time on the computer, outside of work. Maybe I am getting used to the grind of work, so to speak.

Now, I like the internet and especially chatting online, since it is so easy and it allows me to do other things while remaining connected with the person I was chatting with. Even my company allows, and encourages, us to use instant messaging in the office as another form of communication. I felt that there's nothing wrong with that, provided that it is used for the purpose that it is intended for in the first place, to communicate quickly and without fuss to the other party. After all, it's not much different from using a telephone right? But is that really so? Can we really get to know a person through such means? As I was mentioning to a friend earlier (through msn of all things), it is much easier to say something online than to say it face-to-face. Yes, words are important, be it written or spoken, but communication is more than simply words. How well can we get to know a person through emails, msn etc? No matter what, it will usually only be one-dimensional. And when it finally goes beyond the internet, we might come to realise that that same person is different from what we had expected him or her to be.

It is said that the eyes are the windows to the soul. Yet, more often than not, the online environment prevents us from seeing that. Then again, perhaps the problem isn't with online chats or emails per se, but rather, it lies with the fact that most of us are wearing 'masks'. Trying to be who we're not. And what better way to do so than through the internet.

It is only when these masks are taken off that we can truly be who we are inside. I am like that too. Only those who are close to me saw me as who I really am. Those who love me will accept me for who I am, though not condoning my wrongs at the same time. While those who can't accept it could only see the mask, but not the girl behind it. And when the mask came off, they were unable to recognize me anymore. Guess that's the difference between true and superficial love.

I thank God that He loves me for who I am.