I don't really know what to make of this anymore. I kept telling myself that I should give this another chance. Maybe if I put in more effort, maybe if I talk to them more, maybe if I could love them more...So many maybes. Maybe I should just forget about it. I guess it was over a long time ago. I was just unwilling to let go, because I know that once I do, I'll need to move out of my comfort zone. Not that my current one is that comfortable anyway. But it sure beats finding and meeting new people all over again. Maybe I'm more afraid that wherever I go, I'll realised that people are all the same. Another maybe.
But what is the point of holding on to something that will lead to nothing in the end? The longer I stay, the less willing I will be to eventually move on. Two years is a long enough time to get to know someone. Yet how much do I know about them and how much do they know about me? Sometimes, time really isn't a good indicator of how well you know a person.
Actually I was thinking of what to do at the start of the week, but what happened made me move one step closer to my eventual decision. I mean, it's not even about what they are going to watch. If they cared even a little about what I feel, couldn't they just suggest another show? But no, they went ahead with their initial decision.
I pray that there'll be something for me to stay for,
that maybe there's a reason for insisting on watching it,
but these actions are just pushing me further away....
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