It is just so easy to dismiss him, or to push aside the matter altogether. Thinking that we don't need him or that we can always go to him in our times of need when we need him, if we need him. Psalm 14 reflected these sentiments perfectly.


Psalm 14

The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. They are corrupt, they have done abominable works, there is none that doeth good.

The LORD looked down from heaven upon the children of men, to see if there were any that did understand, and seek God.

They are all gone aside, they are all together become filthy: there is none that doeth good, no, not one.

Have all the workers of iniquity no knowledge? who eat up my people as they eat bread, and call not upon the LORD.

There were they in great fear: for God is in the generation of the righteous.

Ye have shamed the counsel of the poor, because the LORD is his refuge.

Oh that the salvation of Israel were come out of Zion! when the LORD bringeth back the captivity of his people, Jacob shall rejoice, and Israel shall be glad.



One day every knee will bow down and every tongue will confess that you are God. But will it be too late? Lord, please have mercy and open their eyes...

The more they push...the closer I'll get...

Letting go? Moving on?

I don't really know what to make of this anymore. I kept telling myself that I should give this another chance. Maybe if I put in more effort, maybe if I talk to them more, maybe if I could love them more...So many maybes. Maybe I should just forget about it. I guess it was over a long time ago. I was just unwilling to let go, because I know that once I do, I'll need to move out of my comfort zone. Not that my current one is that comfortable anyway. But it sure beats finding and meeting new people all over again. Maybe I'm more afraid that wherever I go, I'll realised that people are all the same. Another maybe.

But what is the point of holding on to something that will lead to nothing in the end? The longer I stay, the less willing I will be to eventually move on. Two years is a long enough time to get to know someone. Yet how much do I know about them and how much do they know about me? Sometimes, time really isn't a good indicator of how well you know a person.

Actually I was thinking of what to do at the start of the week, but what happened made me move one step closer to my eventual decision. I mean, it's not even about what they are going to watch. If they cared even a little about what I feel, couldn't they just suggest another show? But no, they went ahead with their initial decision.

I pray that there'll be something for me to stay for,
that maybe there's a reason for insisting on watching it,
but these actions are just pushing me further away....

Musical

Yesterday evening, I watched a musical with Ting and Jo at the University Cultural Centre, complimentary of NUS since it was part of the centennial celebrations. Come to think of it, throughout my three years in NUS, that was the first time that I watched a musical at the UCC. Wondering when it will be the next time that we'll be able to do that again.

The musical, "Man of Letters", was pretty nice. Liked the songs and the acting. It's about a love story, set in Singapore during the 1950s-60s. Think they'll be showing til Sunday, so if any of you are free, maybe can go over to watch it too.

Retreat and dinner

I had a rather packed Vesak day weekend, with the teacher's retreat yesterday and the 17-up fellowship dinner this evening. Maybe will start with the teacher's retreat first. I felt that it was really good because not only did we learn more on how to teach the children and get their attention, we also got to know each other better. The teaching by Priscilla was useful as well and even though it was only a one-day retreat, I was glad that I had gone for it. And not to mention that the food was also very scrumptious.

For most of the group and workshop sessions, we sat according to the age groups that we are teaching so that we can share and learn from each other. As we sat there sharing with each other, I started thinking about how it is a blessing to be teaching alongside dedicated teachers like them. Perhaps the people that you're working with really does make a difference after all.

Another Vesak day. A year had passed.

Only a dream?

I believed I've written sometime before that I'm looking for a job as I'll be graduating this year. So if anyone has any openings, let me know k. Haha.

Recently, it seemed that many of my friends are graduating around the same time as well and are hence also searching for jobs. For those not graduating, they are also searching, though it is temporary jobs for them. The government had said that the economy is improving, so I guess this will be a good time as any to be graduating.

I was also rather envious of those who already got a job before they have even finished the school term, and I began to wonder why it is that it is so easy for them but so hard for me to just find a decent job. Then I realised that, in a midst of all these, I seemed to have forgotten something.

What is it that I really want? I believed only a few of my close friends knew about this dream of mine. And I wonder if it could ever be a reality, or will it just remain a dream? Maybe it's still too soon to tell. But my passion still remains. Not in climbing the corporate ladder, but in something close to my heart.

Aoccdrning to a rscheeah at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny ipronetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The reset can be a totoal mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit probelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervery lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Yes, I'm bored. Haha.

Never about them

I was randomly surfing the net when I came across this poem by Kent Keith. I have no idea who he is either but I just thought the poem was nice. So here it is.

People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered:
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives:
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies: Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you:
Be honest anyway.

What you spend years building, someone may destroy overnight:
Build anyway.

If you find happiness and serenity, others may be jealous:
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow:
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough:
Give the world the best you’ve got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God:
It was never about them anyway.

Blisters

Got blisters on both my feet. ARGGHH!!! So painful right now. Ok, no heels for a week until they recovered.

For the past week, I've been sending out resumes for job applications. Hopefully will be able to get some response for a decent job instead of offers to be insurance agents, finanicial planners and the likes. Oh well, guess I'll just be enjoying my holiday for now =)

Endings

Yupz, last friday marks the last day of my study in NUS. The last paper might be deemed as significant to some but somehow I don't really feel anything much at all on friday. Maybe it's delayed reaction. I don't know.

So what's next? I guess I have to find a job now. Somehow I don't feel very prepared for working life. Well, maybe I'll never be prepared for that.

I never really like endings, because with each ending comes a beginning. And I'm not partial to beginnings either. I liked things to remain status quo, within my comfort zone. But then again, that will get boring as well after a while. I think I've just contradicted myself.

If you think I'm just rambling here, you're probably right. That's because I'm hardly in any mood to blog about anything substantial right now. Maybe another day then.

New skin

Just changed my blogskin. *Yay*
Ooh, and it's the first of May today. Yeah I know, this is quite random. =P