Like a summer breeze

Like a summer breeze, it comes and goes, and refreshes you in the process. Before I know it, the 3-month vacation will be coming to an end in a week's time. At least this time, it had been rather fruitful, unlike the previous one. I am thankful for the opportunities that I got and for the people that I've met during these 3 months. My colleagues, or rather, former colleagues, had been a wonderful bunch of people. It was them that made my stay there so enjoyable despite the occasional nasty calls. Even though most of us are studying in NUS and we might bump into each other at some time or another, I guessed the time span is much too short for any lasting friendships to be established. At times, human feelings can be rather strange. When I was still working, I wished the end of July would come soon. But now that the day has come, there is a sense of loss as well. A part of me wished that it would not end so soon. Yet time waits for no man.

Other than working, there was also the charity event organized by NVAC. Initially, I had agreed to help out with this event mainly because I had thought that I would not be able to find a job and this beats slacking at home. I had to admit that during the 2 months that we spent on this event, there were times when I was reminded of what happened in the past and the fear that history would repeat itself. Thankfully, it turned out to be anything but that. 16th July had come and gone. All those weeks of preparation materialized on that one day.

Then again, this event was not without its fair share of problems either. From the venue to the program to the response rate, it had not always been smooth sailing. When we were informed about the change in the venue, I was worried enough to call up the project director to clarify with him on whether this event was still part of the food festival. And he was nice enough to call me up that night to follow up on that question. When he started sharing about his fears and worries, I began to feel rather helpless, as it seemed that there is nothing much that I can do but pray for him. The program itself was plagued with problems too. At the first dry run, the time taken was far from our expectations and much change had to be done. The second dry run fared slightly better but it still wasn't good enough and time wasn't exactly on our side either. The idea of dropping one checkpoint area was brought up but none of us could bear to do so because of the efforts that each group had put in. Finally, it was circumstances (read: ndp rehearsals) that caused the civic district to be dropped.

Besides the programming committee, helping out with marketing had been an enriching experience too, though the rejections were not always so easy to accept and I did not exactly get along so well with the marketing head at the beginning.

However, I can't help but compare this to the time when we were organizing the run. Then, we did not have a clear direction and we seemed to be finding our way as we went along but this time, the committee had a leader in him. Though it was by no means a one-man effort, I guessed I do admire his capability in organizing this whole event and how the others in the committee respect and listen to him. It seemed there is much that I can learn from all these. In the midst of it all, I hoped that the initial purpose had not been forgotten.

Now, I can truly say that it had indeed been worth it. No doubt there was a sense of relief as well. But it has been 2 weeks and whatever adrenalin and determination that had propelled this entire affair had since died down. It seemed that we are just tying up the loose ends at the moment. Yet I know that this is one experience that I do not want to forget.

What on earth do you treat me as? You're just making use of me aren't you? You said all those things to me just because you needed someone to rant to and it seemed like nobody else is willing to listen to you right? And now that everything is over, you can just pretend that I never exist. Well, go ahead then. Do what you like. At least now I am able to see you as who you really are. I've been such a fool. But you know what, I did not do it for you anyway 'cos you ain't worth it. You are just one big jerk. I am so glad that I'm not going to see you ever again.

Finally

Today was the day. After these 2 months of preparation, it had finally come to this. In my past few entries, I had written that I hoped that all our efforts would be worth it in the end. And indeed it was. Though I didn't really have such a big part in this, I believed everyone in the programming team had done their best, and more. Though it was only for 2 months, I was really glad that I had decided to join the programming team, mainly because of all the wonderful people that I've met there.

The day did not really start off very well. Just the night before, I was praying that it would not rain today. Then when I board the MRT this morning, it started raining and it continued raining when we reached Little India MRT station. I had thought that the traditional games would be cancelled then. This got me a little worried because not only would the participants not get a chance to play the traditional games, the secondary school students with us would also not have anything to do too. As it happened, it actually stopped raining just before the first team arrived!! I don't know about the others but to me, it really was pretty amazing. Because despite all human efforts, certain things are simply beyond our control. I had not anticipated the response from the participants and initially I was rather worried that the response would not be that good. Somehow, I feel that the success of this event is not due to our efforts alone. Lord, thank You so much. I know it is only you who can make the rain stop.

Besides that, I was also grateful for the help from the secondary school students who tend the game stations. Without them, I guessed Tingting and me would not be able to cope on our own. And of course, the participants, as well, who were all so sporting and enthusiastic.

As always, I guess all things have to come to an end eventually. And I'm really glad it could end this way. Though it was only for 2 months, there is a sort of attachment as well. After all, we had been meeting every week since this started and it was becoming a sort of routine for us too. It's really strange sometimes, because a part of me wished it will not end so fast and another part is just so thankful that everything is finally over. But whatever the case, I am glad for this whole experience, however short it was.

Juz a fantasy

Ok, I guess most, if not all, of you will have no idea what I'm writing about below. But just bear with me k. I need to get this off my chest.

I knew this was coming. In fact, I tried so hard to prevent this from happening again. The last thing I want is for history to repeat itself. This time, I told again and again, things would be different.

There shouldn't be anything to it.

Daydreams, that's what it should be. I had thought that by setting a high standard, I could eliminate all possibility of it becoming a reality. In short, it was like daydreaming of living in a fairy tale and it's ok because I know that life will never be like that. By dreaming of something that I know will never happen, I do not set myself up for further disappointments. But you had to spoil everything with the things that you do. Though those little things might seemed insignificant to you, it meant a big deal for me.

Don't you get it? It was supposed to be a fantasy. My fantasy. Please let it remain as such.

Water into Wine

Jesus said, 'I am the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me'

John 14:6


This is the new memory verse for the children, which means that June had already passed. That's rather quick, isn't it? As the day draws closer, I'm filled with trepidation and apprehension. And of course, fear as well. The fear that history will repeat itself. But I guess there's no point worrying is there?

I'm having a terrible headache right now. I thought I could last throughout the day but by lunch time, I was feeling too sick to carry on and I did not want to relate the wrong information to the callers. I guessed I won't be going to work tomorrow too. Oh well, I needed the rest anyway. The past few weeks have been rather tiring, with meetings week after week, countless rejections and the disappointment that follows. I wished that at the end of it all, I can say that all these has been worth it.

And He turns water into wine...

Yesterday, the children were taught on how Jesus turns water into wine. Some might wonder what is the significance of this. I mean, a magician could turn water into wine. Yet to me, this little miracle shows something else altogether. It wasn't a magical feat and it wasn't Jesus showing off his prowess. Just when everyone thought that there was no more wine for the guests at the wedding banquet and the servant girls started panicking, Jesus told them to fill the wine jars with water. At that point, did the servant girls doubt him and maybe even thought that he was insane? Probably. But I can imagine the look on their faces when they poured out what they thought was water and it turned to wine. The feeling of elation, gratitude and awe.

When you thought that all else is lost, He turns water into wine.
Lord, if You're willing, I believe You can....