After what happened the last time, I wondered how I could have the courage to actually try again. Perhaps deep inside, I wanted to believe that it is not only about me. I guess in everything that we do, there is the risk that it would not go as expected. That we could still be disappointed, in spite of all the efforts put in. And one lesson learnt is that certain things are simply beyond our control. Maybe that's just my problem. Too controlling.

All of them told me that the experience is more important than the results. Wonder how many of them actually believed that. But then again, I can't say I disagree either. I don't know what to make of this now. Guess the fear is still there, and I dare not take anything for granted now. Perhaps not as much is at stake now. Perhaps I should learn to take things in my stride.