Learning to let go

I supposed I had given up a long time ago. There was once when I had hoped that my relationship with them would actually improve. I went for most of the activities. All in the hope that I could somehow find a way in. Maybe it was a sense of belonging that I was seeking. Whatever it was, I didn't find it. Not in them, anyway. In fact, along the way, I guess I got lost instead. I forgot the purpose of it all. In the end, it was the disillusionment that finally woke me up. It was painful at that time. The realization that some people were nice to you simply because they wanted something in return. And when they got it, they just turn their back on you, like as if you didn't exist in the first place. She was all smiles when she asked you to do something. At other times, it was like we were strangers. Yet I was prepared to overlook it then. Choosing instead, to look at the bright side and making up excuses for those behaviours. It happened again and again and it just had to stop somewhere.

Thinking back, I guess there were some things that I would not have done if I had known what I knew now. But then again, if it wasn't for those incidents, there will be some truths that I'd never have realised otherwise. It's funny how I usually generalize people like that. In all fairness, not everyone there behaved that way. Perhaps I was too immature then; putting my hopes in things that would not last. Guess I still am now. Still learning to let go...