The past few weeks have been rather hectic, but I'm glad I finally had the time to sit down and blog.
It's been 3 weeks since my grandfather passed away, and there were times when I still missed him even though I know he's in a happier place now.
This is the eulogy I read during his wake:
When I was young, I was raised by my grandparents. My grandfather would send my cousin and I to and fro school every day. As a child, the impression I had of Papa was as a strict authoritarian figure, who would disciplined us whenever we were naughty. He was the traditional Peranakan father and husband who would bring home the bacon while my grandmother, a housewife, would take care of the kids. Even though Papa had retired by the time I was born, his character didn't change. As a result, we were closer to my grandmother when we were growing up.
During Papa's younger days, I heard he was also an avid musician and he played the ukelele with his band. And before he had a stroke some years back, he had a very good singing voice.
Above all, Papa was a proud man, who liked to be in control most of the time. I guessed that is typical of men of his generation. During the past year, his health had deteriorated, so much so that he needed help for most of his daily activities. During the night, he would wake up a few times calling and shouting for the maid. He had dementia as well, so there are times when he would scold the people who were caring for him. But then again, if you had been in control all of your life, how would you feel to have that control taken away from you? Instead of being the provider, he had to be provided for. Perhaps scolding and shouting was one way of regaining that control.
During the past 6 months, I had the privilege of staying with my grandparents again. Sometimes, in the middle of the night, Papa would ask me to read the Bible to him because he couldn't sleep. There were occasions when I had refused to do so because I was tired, but I was glad for the times when I did. In fact, it was during these months that I believed he had grown closer to God. And through caring for them, I've come to realise that it's only through loving others that we can truly love God.
When my grandfather passed away, I was in Japan. At that time, I'd asked God: of all times to take him away, You have to do it when I wasn't in Singapore? Couldn't You wait 1 more week? You see, from where I was in Japan, it was a 5-hour train ride to the airport. And during that time, God reassured me that it's alright that I wasn't there. And it was enough that I was given the opportunity to spend time with Papa before he passed on. Even though I'm not very young, this is actually the first time I'd experienced the death of someone close. Previously, I did not know how I would handle it. But as believers in Jesus Christ, we have the assurance that this is just a temporary separation, and that we will meet again in Heaven one day. Somehow, this gave me a peace that no words can describe. Though I'm sad because I missed my grandfather, I'm joyful that Papa is now in Heaven and that he doesn't have to suffer anymore.
